Elodie 愛樂蒂心靈塔羅屋

Karla McLaren

Interview: Are You an Emotional Genius?(節錄)

Sounds True: Genius is commonly defined as “a strongly marked or transcendent capacity or aptitude.” So, what is “emotional genius”? 

天賦通常被定義為「有強烈顯著或卓越的能力或才能」。那麼，甚麼是「情緒天賦」呢？

Karla McLaren: Genius, I believe, is the ability to take a startling new look at the things most of us take for granted. Albert Einstein, for example, looked at time and space in a radical new way. Duke Ellington and Ella Fitzgerald did so with music and voice. Emotional genius is the gift of looking at our emotional lives in new and creative ways. With this kind of genius ,we see our emotions ­ all of them ­ as a powerful source of energy, wisdom, self-awareness,and direction. We learn to marshal and work with these energies, rather than categorizing or explaining them away.

我相信，天賦是在我們多數認為理所當然的事上，採取令人吃驚的新觀點的能力。例如，Albert Einstein用激進的新方式看待時間和空間。Duke Ellington和 Ella Fitzgerald在音樂上和聲樂上也這麼做。情緒天賦是一種用新的、創造性的方式看待我們情緒生活的禮物。用這種天賦，我們視我們的情緒都是能量、智慧、自我覺知和方向的強大來源。我們學習整理情緒、並處理情緒，而不是把它們分類或通過解釋而消除它們。

ST: What are the signs of an emotional genius? 

情緒天賦有甚麼特徵呢？

KM: An emotional genius sees all emotions as valuable messages from the inner self. He or she understands and works with the energies inside each emotion, rather than trying to hide or "transform" the emotions into something they aren’t. Emotional geniuses treat their own emotions, and the emotions of others, honorably. 

情緒天賦看待所有情緒是來自內在自我的寶貴訊息。他或她了解、並處理每種情緒內的能量，而不是試著隱藏或「轉化」情緒成為它們不是的東西。情緒天賦誠實地對待它們自己和其他人的情緒。

ST: How have most of us learned to handle our emotions? 

我們多數人如何已經學習處理我們的情緒？

KM: Our culture views emotions from a simplistic good-bad framework ­ anger is bad, joy is good,a nd so on ­ so we usually experience them without much consciousness. We seem to have only two responses to our emotions: we either express them outwardly or repress them inwardly. But both these responses can create problems. When we express our strong emotions "at" others, we can easily hurt them and ourselves. When we repress or "stuff" our emotions, we become less aware and less capable. So, the only two things we know to do with our emotions make them unmanageable and unwelcome. Emotional genius places a new skill into the mix. We learn to develop a "peer relationship" with our emotions. We learn to ask them questions, to understand the necessity of their presence in our lives, and to use their presence to foster growth and understanding.

我們的文化用過分簡單化的「好—壞」架構看待情緒—憤怒是壞的，喜悅的好的等等，所以我們通常沒有帶著許多意識經驗它們。我們對自己的情緒似乎只有兩種反應：不是向外表達，就是向內壓抑。但這兩種反應會創造出問題。當我們「對」別人表達強烈的情緒，會很容易傷害到他們與自己。當我們壓抑或用情緒「填滿」自己時，我們會變得較不覺知、較沒有能力。那麼，我們唯一知到如何處理自己情緒的兩件事，使情緒難以控制、且不受歡迎。情緒天賦把新技巧放入結合。我們學習與自己情緒建立「同儕關係」。我們學習問它們問題，了解它們出現在我們生活中的需要，並用它們的存在促進成長和了解。

ST: You’ve said that the emotions carry both information and energy. Where do they come from and how do we access the messages they hold? 

你曾說情緒攜帶資訊和能量兩者。情緒從何而來？我們如何利用它們持有的訊息？

KM: Our emotions come from within the inner self -­ the primal, wordless self. Because the information they carry is also wordless, it's very important to have a functioning intellect at your disposal. The emotions simply transmit a feeling, but we've got to translate it properly if we're going to be able to use it. For instance, anger asks us to restore or protect ourselves or others. If we don't know that, we might express our anger in a torrent, or sit on it to be polite ­ both of which do nothing with anger's important information. If, however, we see anger as an energetic messenger,             we can ask it, "What needs to be restored? What needs to be protected?" Then, we can work with our anger and make the movements asked of us. Or, let's look at sadness. Sadness asks us to stop and let go of something that no longer works ­ a relationship, a belief, or a job. Most of us don't stop when sadness appears. We run like crazy or we distract ourselves with drugs, work, television, or other activities. Then we're surprised when our lives stop working. Or when we drop into a deep depression. But if we welcome our sadness ­ if we ask it, "What needs to be released?" ­ it will help us to identify the unworkable attachments in our lives so that we can let go and move on. Each of the emotions has its own message and its own information. Emotional genius teaches us what those messages are so that we can behave properly when the emotions come forward. 

我們的情緒來自內在自我—最初的、沉默的自己。因為它們攜帶的資訊也是沉默的，在你控制下擁有有效的理解力很重要。情緒單純傳達一種感覺，但我們若要使用它，就必須適當地方翻譯它。例如，憤怒要求我們恢復、或保護我們自己和其他人。如果我們不知道這件事，可能會以狂怒表達憤怒，或禮貌地坐著—兩者都和憤怒的重要訊息無關。然而，如果我們視憤怒為能量的使者，我們可以問它：「甚麼需要恢復？甚麼需要被保護？」那麼，我們可以處理自己的憤怒，並詢問採取的行動。或者，看看悲傷。悲傷要求我們停止、對不再運作的某件事放手—一段關係、一種信念、或一個工作。當悲傷出現時，我們多數並不停止。我們像瘋子一樣橫衝亂撞，或者用藥物、工作、電視或其他活動分心。然後當我們生活停止運作時感到驚訝。或者當我們掉進深深的沮喪中。但如果我們歡迎我們的悲傷，如果我們問它：「甚麼視需要被釋放的？」它將會幫助我們確定生活中不再運作的情感，所以我們可以放手，並繼續前進。每種情緒都有自己的訊息和資訊。情緒天賦教導我們這些訊息是甚麼，以致於當情緒來到時，我們能適當地處理。

ST: Many spiritual traditions talk about cultivating inner calm or joy through meditation or prayer. What is your perspective? 

許多靈性傳統談到，透過冥想或祈禱培養內在平靜或喜悅。你的觀點是甚麼？

KM: Calm and joy are lovely states, but they’re only two states among dozens. I understand the reasons why so many traditions rely on calm and joy ­ because so few people know how to manage their emotions. But these cultivations worry me. If we see the emotions as a complete and vital realm of responses, then we want access to all of them. In Taoism, which is one of the few emotion-honoring ancient practices, joy is considered to be the most dangerous emotion ­ not in and of itself, but because of the way we behave in relation to it. We tend to repress every other emotion, and focus only on joy. I find that this focus creates stagnation in the psyche, and eventually, a complete lack of richness in the personality. In my experience, joy-only practices rely almost exclusively on repressive techniques ­ and repression is unacceptable to me. 

平靜和喜悅是令人喜歡的狀態，但它們只是數十種狀態的其中兩種。我了解為何許多傳統依賴平靜和喜悅的原因：因為太少人知道如何處理他們的情緒。但這些教導讓我擔心。如果我們視情緒為反應的完整的、極其重要的範疇，那麼我們想要全部利用。道教是少數尊敬情緒的古老學習，在道教中，喜悅被視為最危險的情緒—並不是因為它其中或本身的原因，而是我們關於喜悅要如何處理。我們傾向壓抑其它情緒，而只專注在喜悅上。我發現這樣的專注創造心靈的遲滯，而最終缺乏豐富的人格。在我的經驗中，只有喜悅的學習大多數單獨依賴壓抑的技巧，而壓抑對我來說是不能接受的。

ST: What is your understanding of grief and griefwork? 

你對憂傷和憂傷處理的了解是甚麼？

KM: Grief is an exquisite emotion that helps us become fully human and fully alive. That seems like a contradiction, but it's not. Grief asks us to drop down into the river of life and truly mourn the passing of what we love and value. If we don't make that journey, we can't move forward whole in our lives. I call grief "the utterly necessary river of the soul," because it reconnects us to life after we’ve experienced deep and profound loss. When I see people running from grief, I feel such sorrow for them, because I know that they won't be whole until they grieve. We fear that grief will break us in two, but that’s not what happens. In true grief, our hearts break open, but they don’t break apart. We aren't emptied by grief ­ we're expanded. When we come up and out of the river of grief, we have more capacity to love, and more room to breathe. 

憂傷是一種敏銳的情緒，幫助我們變得全然具有人性、全然活著。這看起來矛盾，但其實不然。憂傷要求我們走進生命的河流，真正的對我們所愛所珍視的過去哀悼。如果我們不走上這條旅程，我們不會在生命中走向完整。我稱憂傷為「靈魂完全需要的河流」，因為當我們經驗深深地、全然地失落後，我們會重新連結生命。當我看到人們逃離憂傷，我替他們感到惋惜，因為我知道他們將不會成為完整，直到他們憂傷。我們害怕憂傷會把我們分成兩半，但這不會發生。在真正的憂傷中，我們的心破開，但不會支離破碎。我們不會被憂傷掏空，我們會更加開展。當我們走過、走出憂傷的河流，我們更有能力去愛，有更多空間去呼吸。